seriously though

went jogging on wednesday for 20 whole minutes before retiring and participating in a body trim (read: strength training) class. i was kind of hoping it was be an step aerobics class i was dropping into but, hey, toning is good for me, too! then played badminton for another hour or so. in singles games, i beat gunther but yang beat me. gunther nearly had yang but eventually he lost. so yang is like king of the court and gunther only lost today to me because he was having an exceedingly bad day.

i am not defined by being able to run 30 laps in a row. (though i would so love to get back to that. i did it last week – with breaks – when i went and the guys were playing basketball and i had nothing to do if i stopped jogging early. i think 30 laps is going to always be there so long as i don’t quit jogging and don’t fall to, say, 20% of that.)

i am not defined by my love or ability in badminton. (though i want to maintain a certain level and have really awesome and properly trained badminton-playing kid(s).)

i am supposed to be looking for a supervisor these days and find myself in something of a quandry (besides being exceedingly lazy). my confidence in my biochemistry and chemistry background is non-existent. that is the beauty of doing a combined honours: having huge holes in my basic knowledge because i simply didn’t want to take those courses and you can do that when having two honours subjects.

to concentrate strictly on the negatives, i haven’t any semblence of a background beyond second or third year in the following:

  • analytical, physical, or organic chemistry (yup, that would leave only organic and i was really sucky at that)
  • intermediate metabolism and anything to do with lipids or hormones or signal transduction (~shivers)
  • clinical biochemistry… wouldn’t stick in my head for the life of me
  • rigorous stats or even the basics of ai (artificial intelligence)

on the bright side (oh this is harder to fill out), i….

  • have a very carefully honed education in the determination of structure of molecules with a decided prefered interest in biological molecules
  • can remember everything i’ve learned in computer science (either it’s too easy or i’m just more inclined that way, unfortunately??)
  • have the advantage of being explosed to more topics than usual (physics, match, stats, biology, immunology….), which could be of great benefit

what’s important is the ability to learn right….? i very often have doubts of my having anything ressembling even average abilities to do that….

paul wants me to have a really significant project for my master’s and it’s so wonderful of him to want only good things for me. i’m flip-flopping: between

  1. the possibility of an “easier” computer science-type project that any run-of-the-mill strictly-computer science student can do because my biochem/chem background is fading, maybe one that is “medial informatics” (but i didn’t take biochem in order to do health data administration!!)
  2. getting myself into a really big and exciting biochemistry lab and doing a real bioinformatics project and facing (and overcoming?) all those topics in biochemistry that i’ve thus far survived while avoiding….

sigh, this is a depressing post but not posting is also hindering on my work so… here goes….

(Originally posted at an old blog April 24, 2003 at 5:59 a.m. AST.)

On this day..